The die is cast. I now must think. Forever more there must be ink Upon my middle finger here; And I must look so wise and queer, With visage learnedly austere-- For I have joined Fortnightly.
What does that mean? Oh, ask me not! Prodigious brains right on the spot! A memory that never fails; A confidence that never quails; A knowledge measured up in bales-- For I have joined Fortnightly.
A mind whose resources are pat; That thinks as quick as scat! A tongue in lucid language strong. That speaks as though in middle hung; With wit that’s never been out-sung-- For I have joined Fortnightly.
A cyclopedia I must be; A lexicon and history; Authority on ages past; On happenings the very last; A walking X-ray, strangely cast-- For I have joined Fortnightly.
A searching anthropologist; A neat and trim geologist; A digger in philology; A savant in biology; A stauncher in theology-- For I have joined Fortnightly
“You’d scarce expect” one such as I To claim so great ambition, high; But I shall never “fall below Demosthenes or Cicero,” Nor any savant that you know-- Because I’ve joined Fortnightly.
Mrs. Alsor Haynor Fry